Stop! Stop right there… Feelings cannot be trusted. Because I feel stupid, fat, and ugly. No, it’s not a self-esteem issue, it’s just how I feel lately. And hot. Oh, and crazy too. Really, there’s a whole list of derogatory words that I can use to describe how I feel these days. I know they’re not true, but still, the feelings creep up on me. Fortunately, with the benefit of therapy age, maturity, and wisdom, I now understand the difference between feeling and knowing.

What has brought about these derogatory feelings in my life? Two words ~ The Change!

Now, I don’t feel all mopey because I’m going through it ~ in fact, I’m glad it’s finally happening. But I wasn’t prepared for everything I’m going through. Though in reality, how could I have been, as (like with pregnancy) it is different for every woman. There are 34 (or more) symptoms of menopause. YIKES! Here are some of my favorites (if only I could type in sarcasm).

Memory Loss and Brain Fog:

Memory Loss ~ Yeah, this has been fun. I can’t remember things. My short-term and recent memory are pretty much shot. Gone. MIA. I can’t remember if I’m coming or going. I can’t remember info I just learned. I can’t remember dates, appointments, or even plans with friends. I don’t recall recent events, impressions, or conversations! I’m lucky I’m able to find my way home every time I go out (so far!).

Brain Fog ~ Ummm… here’s the thing. I used to be pretty quick at understanding something. But now, if you want me to “get it,” you need to talk to me like I’m a 4-year old. Seriously. Otherwise that blank stare you’re seeing really does mean no comprende. And don’t even think of trying to make me hear, process, or understand something before 10 AM, cuz it’s just not going to happen!

A.D.D. ~ Don’t get me started on the epic level this has reached!

Stupid, Stubborn Weight:

Okay, if I’m going to be totally honest, I’ve had to battle my weight for several years now (stupid weight). However, I’ve always known what to do! I’ve also been able to adjust my eating habits and see a difference. This is no longer true. I am fighting harder than I ever have in my life, to not only lose weight, but to stop gaining it too!

So what’s changed? Everything! Everything I’ve learned about working out and being fit, no longer applies to me. What worked before doesn’t work now, and that is backed up by personal experience, as well as research. Now I’m trying to adjust, to forget what used to work, and learn what works now. And it’s frustrating… demoralizing… demotivating. Yes, a  personal trainer would be quite useful right now, but that’s just not in the budget. So I will continue to re-educate myself, push through, and persevere. It’s not about having a skinny body, but I do want to be the healthiest me I can be!

Thin is NOT In:

Once upon a time, I had beautiful, thick eyebrows, and amazingly long, thick eyelashes. My hair was thick, though fine, and I had a lot of it. Yes, I was blessed.

My eyebrows were full and had a nice, natural arch. Occasional tweezing was all I had to do. My eyelashes were really long and had a lovely natural curl to them. Not only have I never used an eyelash curler, but I actually used to lament that my eyelashes were so long that they would brush on my sunglasses when I blinked (and that was without mascara)! (Yes, I know, I’ll feel no sympathy on this one.)

Oh, how things have changed. My hair isn’t too bad, because while I’ve lost a lot of it, I really did have a lot to begin with, so it doesn’t show too much. My eyebrows are sparse now, no longer thick. And they require a lot of work to look good. My eyelashes? Well, now they’re short and thin, even with mascara!

Feelin’ the Heat:

Hot flashes and night sweats… This pretty much sums up how I feel about that!

Yep, that’s pretty much it. Thank God for Peppermint Oil (seriously, a must-have). And yes, I know what the triggers are, but frankly, if I avoid those, is life really worth living? I think not. Well, except for stress and anxiety, which are basically caused by menopause!

Oh and, by the way…

In Conclusion:

So what’s a girl to do? Well, I guess it boils down to what I tell my daughter all too often ~ Suck it up, Cupcake! To the best of my knowledge, no woman has died from going through it. I’ll continue using my oils and supplements, I will continue to seek out the coolest A/C vents and most powerful fans, I will continue to obsessively write things down, and I will continue plotting murders in my mind. Whatever gets you through, right?