The world today isn’t what it used to be. Crime is rampant and uprightness is lacking. Hedonism is blatant, while moral decency is obscure. Abuse is no longer a rarity, however, respect for others (and self) is. Human life has little value, while human trafficking does. Honor is scoffed at, but notoriety is desired. It’s almost enough to make a person give up hope. Almost…

While all of the above is true, the image doesn’t represent the whole picture. In the midst of all the bad, there is good. In actuality, there is probably more good ~  in people, stories, and actions ~ than there is bad, we just don’t hear about it as much. Or it doesn’t make as much impact. It’s not sexy and it doesn’t sell. That’s where it all goes wrong. We give too much attention, too much power to the negativity that abounds, and we really don’t see, let alone embrace, the good that abounds even more. If we will just change the lens we see life though, then we will see things differently.

Frequently we hear stories about bad people, doing bad stuff. You know, the ones who are disrespectful, dishonest, lazy, entitled, and even, downright cruel. We hear or read these stories and pass them on, sharing our shock, rage, sorrow, and righteous indignation, and we lament the deterioration of society. But we hear other stories too… stories of good people who behave in a way that makes us proud and encourage us. Stories of heroes, of bravery, sacrifice, and selflessness. There are stories of compassion, kindness, love, and charity, stories that give us hope for the future, stories that allow us to believe that maybe, just maybe, society will once again return to civility and honor.

We all have the opportunity to influence for good, every single day.

We influence our children, our family, friends, and coworkers; and we even influence strangers. We may not be able to control whatever is going on around us, or how others act, but we can control ourselves and how we behave, or respond,  in any given situation. How we act, or react, is an influencing force that has a ripple effect. Being compassionate, empathetic, generous, positive, and kind carries more weight than we realize. It carries more light than we realize, and it is that light that drives back the darkness. It is the light within us that produces the change we want to see.

Yes, there is much darkness, pain, and evil in the world, of that there is no doubt. But there is also goodness, kindness, compassion, love, and light. All of these are characteristics of God, and He has given them to us so that we might show them to others. Because He is in us, and in the world, His characteristics are here too. If we look for them, we will find them. If we find them, we can celebrate them. And if we choose to share these godly characteristics with others, they can experience them too.

Society can change, but we cannot change society.

All we can change is ourselves. We can be the change we want to see in the world and trust that our impact will make a difference, like the ripples in a lake when a stone is tossed in. As Christians, we are called to make a difference, but I think we often place too high of expectations on that calling and on ourselves. It doesn’t have to be a big, grand “thing” to make a difference, but rather its consistency with the little things that can make us agents of change. If we will rely on God, he will help us to do those little things consistently. Things like speaking life, showing love, being kind and considerate, showing respect and compassion, and offering grace, forgiveness, and mercy.

It is by remembering that our thoughts, words, and actions, can and do make a difference in life and that through them, we all have the power to be the change. 

 

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. ~ John 1:4-5

You have what? What is that? Yep, I hear these questions a lot. I understand because before two years ago, I hadn’t heard of it either. I have spent the last two (and a quarter) years learning about my chronic illness and trying to come to terms with my new normal. Some days I do better than others.

I always thought that I was pretty healthy. I mean, other than seasonal allergies, I seldom got sick. The only time I ever got the flu was immediately following the three times I was forced to get a flu shot (when I was in the Air Force). When I stopped getting the shot, I stopped getting sick! (Not saying it’s the same for everyone, but that’s how it is for me.)

When I was in my 20’s I began having neck and knee pain, though I didn’t know why. I hadn’t “hurt” them, they just hurt. In my 30’s hip pain, elbow pain, IBS, exhaustion, & migraines came along. I still didn’t know why I was in so much pain, and it just became part of my life. The weird thing was, it wasn’t consistent. All of it would come and go. Which also made it hard to treat.

My 40’s brought more pain and more exhaustion. There was also brain fog, heat intolerance, neuropathy, stiffness, weakness, heart palpitations, and more. It also brought a diagnosis. Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease.

Un… what? Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease, or UCTD, is an autoimmune disease that is unspecified. Meaning, it is a disease in which the immune system gets confused and attacks the body it is supposed to be protecting. It is unspecified because it doesn’t meet all the criteria for a specific disease, like Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Sjogren’s Syndrome, MS, and more. Each specified disease has certain criteria that need to be met before it is diagnosed. A person with UCTD has symptoms or blood work for one or more of the known autoimmune diseases, but not enough to receive the actual diagnosis. A diagnosis is made through physical symptoms and blood work.

Typically a person with UCTD has a tendency to lean toward at least one specific disease. In my case, I have symptoms or positive blood work for Lupus and Sjogren’s, but I don’t have enough characteristics of either of them to actually be diagnosed. So UCTD it is… for now.

Most autoimmune diseases are challenging to diagnose because not every person presents with the same symptoms, and because symptoms frequently come and go. The cycle of flare and remission makes it difficult to see the whole picture and thus get a diagnosis. In fact, the average time to receive a diagnosis for either Lupus or Sjogren’s Syndrome is typically between 3 and 5 years. And this is why I say I have UCTD… for now. It may stay this way and never progress further to one of the others, or it may develop into full-blown Lupus or Sjogren’s Syndrome. If the UCTD never progresses to another specified disease, then that’s what I have. It may get worse, or it may stay the same. Only time will tell.

So what symptoms am I experiencing? First, and foremost, the arthritic pain in virtually all my joints. Muscular weakness. Peripheral neuropathy. Dry eyes and dry mouth ~ but not like “normal” people get… I have no tears and frequently have to drink water as I eat to wash down the food. Exhaustion. Migraines. IBS. Brain fog or cognitive dysfunction (I think that’s the hardest to deal with because I remember when I used to be smart, sharp, organized, have clear thoughts and speech, etc). Heart palpitations. And… there is plantar fasciitis and diverticulitis, which may or may not be related.

So how am I? Basically, I’m a train wreck. I hurt all the time. Every single day. The only change is the location and pain scale. My hip and knees go out frequently (which is especially fun when navigating the stairs). The brain fog is the worst ~ I’m forgetful, can no longer read or speak well, can’t concentrate, and have great difficulty articulating a thought. I am exhausted, yet sleep poorly (vicious circle). I have to pick and choose my activities carefully because doing too much today guarantees that I’m out of commission tomorrow, and maybe even for a few days. So I rest, and I recover.

This is my new normal. And some days are better than others. I try to not let it get to me, but that’s not always easy either. I’m trying to be the best mom and wife that I can, and I’m blessed to have such a wonderful husband and daughter, who love me regardless of my abilities or limitations. Though my life (or health) is not perfect, I know it could be much worse. And I know God can still use me, I still have a purpose, and though I am weak, He is strong. Amen!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  ~  2 Cor. 12:9-11

Y’all! Can I let you in on a little secret? I made a discovery today. A delicious discovery. A seriously drool-worthy discovery. Sopapilla Cheesecake Bars. Oh. My. YUM! Have you had it? If not, you need to… It’s amazing. Truly AH.MAZ.ING!

My husband had to go out of town on a business trip, which he sometimes does. When he has to travel, I always try to make the time that he’s gone from us, fun, or special for my daughter and I. We do different things… picnics, hiking, pedicures, special dinners (or desserts), sleepovers, and always chick flicks. Well, today we were having a couple friends over (another mother & daughter ~ fun for her, fun for me) to hang out and watch movies. I thought it would be nice to have a special dessert for us all, so I did what any normal woman in my situation would do. I carefully scoured and researched recipe books went to Pinterest!

Ahhh… Pinterest… that magical place that you can find anything from the comfort of your recliner. Or wherever. To be honest,  I didn’t have anything special in mind, just something desserty. A sweet treat for a fun time with friends. I didn’t want anything “normal” like cookies, cake, cupcakes, etc. I really wasn’t interested in chocolate. And it had to be quick and easy. It didn’t take long until I found something that looked good… yep, you guessed it… Sopapilla Cheesecake Bars. They looked good, were easy, and just the right amount of sweet.

 

To be thorough, I did check out a couple of recipes to compare, but they mostly seemed pretty similar. Fortunately, I had everything on hand, so I decided to go for it. Boy, am I glad that I did! We all loved it! It really was pretty easy to make. In fact, that hardest part was to let it cool thoroughly before serving (did I mention how wonderful it smelled?).

This recipe will now be added to the lineup, because… YUM!

 

Ingredients:

2 packages refrigerated crescent rolls

2 (8 oz) packages of (regular, full fat) cream cheese blocks, softened to room temperature

1 cup white sugar

1 large egg

1 ½ Tbsp vanilla extract

1 stick (½ cup) of butter, melted

¾ cup cinnamon sugar (¾ cup sugar mixed with 1 Tbsp cinnamon)

 

Instructions:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees (F) and set baking rack in the center. Generously grease a 13×9” baking pan with cooking spray or butter.
• Unroll one can of crescent rolls and lay it in a single layer on the bottom of the baking dish. Stretch to fit the bottom of the pan, and pinch together any seams to seal. Set aside.
• Using an electric mixer, beat together the cream cheese, white sugar, vanilla, and egg, until well combined. Use a rubber spatula to spread the mixture evenly over the top of the first crescent roll layer.
• Unroll the second can of crescent rolls and lay it on a cutting board or silicone baking mat, stretching it to fit well on top of the cheesecake filling layer. Once again, be sure to pinch the seams together to seal. Pick up the dough and carefully lay it over the filling, covering it completely.
• Melt the butter and pour it over the top, covering the dough entirely. Evenly sprinkle the cinnamon sugar on top.
• Bake for about 30 minutes, until the dough is baked through and the cinnamon sugar has formed a crust on top of the dough.
• Allow to cool completely before cutting into bars. These are great make-ahead treats since they do have to cool. Be sure to store any leftovers (if there are any!) in an airtight container in the refrigerator.