Keepin’ It Real

What Every Woman Should Know

/ Tracy / Leave a comment

First off, I didn’t write this list. But I wish I had. Second, I wish every woman in America (heck, in the world) would get this. I mean really get this. Third, I wish I would get this. Always.

10 Facts

10 Facts Every Woman Should Know:

1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over.
2. When someone tells you that you’re beautiful, believe them. They aren’t lying.
3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill a goat.
4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them.
5. You should definitely have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would.
6. Don’t look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself.
7. It’s okay to not love every part of your body….but you should.
8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life. Well, you might be that woman to someone else.
9. You should be a priority. Not an option, the last resort, or a backup plan.
10. You’re a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable.

~ Austin Blood

 

Oh, how I wish I had known these things when I was younger. Looking back, I see how utterly insecure I used to be. It is astonishing how critical I was about myself, how much I compared myself to others… and came up short. I was so freaking critical of myself, and now, I don’t really know why. Other than that I was just young and had next to zero self-esteem.

It happens. The zero self-esteem thing… it happens. To far too many of us, I’m afraid. When you grow up not being built up, but rather, torn down, it’s hard to break that off. It’s hard to see yourself with value if as a child, you weren’t valued. Sometimes, it’s hard to see yourself with value, even if you were valued.

Insecurities

The thing is, society the media puts ridiculously impossible standards on women. Standards that, quite frankly, are a lie. The media photoshop, perfect lighting, and stage makeup to erase flaws and create the illusion of perfection. Perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect eyebrows, perfect body, perfectly thin, perfectly smooth, perfectly bronzed (without fear of skin cancer), perfectly wrinkle-free… and it’s all… perfectly… crap.

Today, I look at pictures of me when I was young, and I see something I wish I could have seen then. I see a young woman who was beautiful, who had a smile that could light up a room, who was thin and fit. I see someone who was funny, witty, and charming. I see someone intelligent and fun, who was vivacious and loved life. I laughed often and often made others laugh. I wish I could have seen that then.

Beauty Opposite Perfection

Now I see that while I wasn’t perfect (and who of us is, really?), I was pretty dang awesome. I truly enjoyed making other people feel good, and I had a kind, caring heart. Unfortunately, I used to be too hard on myself. I used to think of myself as plain, fat (though I was size 8-10) mediocre, and simply less-than. I just never felt pretty enough, smart enough, popular enough… I never felt good enough. What a waste! Those kinds of thoughts are a waste of time, a waste of energy, and a waste of spirit.

Now, with the advantage of age, maturity, and perspective, I see myself much differently. I know I’m not perfect. But I also know that I’m pretty freaking awesome. I have a lot to offer, and well, if someone doesn’t like me, I’m okay with that. I hope that doesn’t seem arrogant, it’s just that I’ve finally grown to love me ~ imperfections and all. It’s how I know that I’m flawesome!

Flawesome 2

More importantly, I know that God loves me, he approves of me, and he designed me the way he wanted me to be. I know that my imperfections, my flaws, and my idiosyncrasies, are what makes me special. They make me, me.  I now know I am a masterpiece, created by the God of the Universe, and he made me unique, the way he wanted me to be. And who am I to argue with that?

To See Myself the Way You Do

To see myself the way he does. Not for how skinny or flawless I am, how put together I am, how popular I am, or how pedigreed I am.

God sees us as beautiful, precious, unique, loved, and passionate. He sees us as daughters of the King. He chose us. He desires us.

Imagine that. The God of all creation, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the Alpha and Omega… He desires us. He pursues us. He values us. And He wants a relationship with us. And that is enough.

Get Out of the Box

/ Tracy / 6 Comments

Get out of the box. Get Jesus out of the box. Get the church out of the building, which is a box! Yep, I said it. And I mean it. Though I know this won’t score me any points with the religious types. I’m okay with that.

I’m coming out of a dry spell in my spiritual life. Actually, it was dry, dark, and desperate… like Mordor. And I think I was near a spiritual death, for lack of Living Water. (Mind you, I’m not saying it wasn’t available, I just couldn’t see it.) It was a long, painful journey, with the enemy searching to take me out. I had companions at times (some like Sam, others like Gollum), but the journey was mine.

Mordor

Recently I had an epiphany about why it was so bad for me. Since I’ve been saved (17 years now), I’ve always held to the belief that we are saved to serve, not saved to sit. In the first many years, I served. Tirelessly. I served in the church, but I also went outside the church. Yes, there are many positions within the church building that need to be filled, or there wouldn’t actually be a church (think about it… kids ministry, ushers, greeters, sound, custodial, etc). Serving in that capacity is not a bad thing… in fact, it’s necessary.

But there’s more.

Much more.

What struck me is that yes, Jesus spent time in the church, and he never told anyone to not go to church. But he also never said just go to church. What he actually said was, “Go, and make disciples.”

Go and Make Disciples

Go…

Have you ever been wrecked for God? Have you ever been moved to tears or action by something you see? Have you ever felt righteous anger rising up in response to any of the many forms of evil that victimize others… in your neighborhood… in your city… in your country… in the world? If so, THAT is your calling. If not, well… you may want to figure out why.

The Place God Calls You

There are so many opportunities to bring Jesus to the world. I’ve heard things like, “Serving in a soup kitchen isn’t me,” or “I’m not comfortable around the homeless.” Yeah? So what? There are literally thousands of other ways to serve. What do you have a passion for? Who do you connect with? Who do you understand? Who, when being completely honest with yourself, can you look at and say, “There, but by the grace of God, go I?”

So who needs Jesus?

Bikers. Drug addicts. Prisoners. Sick people. Immigrants. The hungry and the homeless. Women fleeing abusive relationships. People who’ve lost a loved one. Orphans. Athletes. Businessmen and women. Teens. Unwed mothers. First responders. Teachers. Freaks. Government workers (can I get an Amen?!). Women working in the sex industry ~ whether by “choice” or through human trafficking (this includes strippers, prostitutes, sex slaves, and the porn industry). And everyone else.

Serve One Another

That’s where I need to be. I have known for quite some time that I was to offer what I could to women enslaved (don’t kid yourself, that’s what it is) in prostitution ~ especially young girls. I am to show Jesus, love, compassion, humility, and non-judgment to those ladies. But I didn’t. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t in a good place. I had other things to do. I… I… I… the point is, I didn’t do what I know I was called to do. And that may not have put me in a dark place, but it certainly allowed me to stay there.

We are to have an inlet AND an outlet. Look at it this way… the Dead Sea and the Sea of Galilee are very near to each other. They are both fed by the Jordan river. But that’s where the similarity ends. The Sea of Galilee is lush, beautiful, vibrant, and full of life, because the water flows in, through, and out. On the other hand, the Dead Sea has no outlet, making it too salty, and too full of minerals for any living thing. There is no life at all in the Dead Sea (hence the name). It’s the same way with us. Where there is no outlet, there is no life!

Sea of Galilee

The Sea of Galilee

Dead Sea

The Dead Sea

Think of it this way… In life, it matters not what we get, but what we give. 

Yes, money is always needed. Yes, it’s good to give your treasure. But it’s equally important to give of your time and talent. A war cannot be won (yes, it really is a battlefield out there), by simply throwing money at it ~ without boots on the ground (or Christians in the field), no war would ever be won.

In Life It Matters What We Give

We need to be willing to get dirty. To be messy. Because that’s what life is. And that’s what true ministry is. Ministry isn’t beautiful buildings, church fashion trends, showy worship services, and a pristine church environment. Real ministry is like real life ~ gritty, messy, and complicated, but oh so fulfilling.

If our purpose upon getting saved was solely to worship Jesus, then we’d be taken to him, promptly thereafter. But we’re not. We’re left here to represent Him. We are to be his church, not a building. We are to be his hands and feet. We are to go. It’s been said that God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. All we need to do is find a need and fill it, find a hurt and heal it. Are you willing?

Be the Church

 

But I FEEL…

/ Tracy / Leave a comment

Stop! Stop right there… Feelings cannot be trusted. Because I feel stupid, fat, and ugly. No, it’s not a self-esteem issue, it’s just how I feel lately. And hot. Oh, and crazy too. Really, there’s a whole list of derogatory words that I can use to describe how I feel these days. I know they’re not true, but still, the feelings creep up on me. Fortunately, with the benefit of therapy age, maturity, and wisdom, I now understand the difference between feeling and knowing.

What has brought about these derogatory feelings in my life? Two words ~ The Change!

7 Dwarves of Menopause

Now, I don’t feel all mopey because I’m going through it ~ in fact, I’m glad it’s finally happening. But I wasn’t prepared for everything I’m going through. Though in reality, how could I have been, as (like with pregnancy) it is different for every woman. There are 34 (or more) symptoms of menopause. YIKES! Here are some of my favorites (if only I could type in sarcasm).

Memory Loss and Brain Fog:

Can't Think

Memory Loss ~ Yeah, this has been fun. I can’t remember things. My short-term and recent memory are pretty much shot. Gone. MIA. I can’t remember if I’m coming or going. I can’t remember info I just learned. I can’t remember dates, appointments, or even plans with friends. I don’t recall recent events, impressions, or conversations! I’m lucky I’m able to find my way home every time I go out (so far!).

Brain Fog ~ Ummm… here’s the thing. I used to be pretty quick at understanding something. But now, if you want me to “get it,” you need to talk to me like I’m a 4-year old. Seriously. Otherwise that blank stare you’re seeing really does mean no comprende. And don’t even think of trying to make me hear, process, or understand something before 10 AM, cuz it’s just not going to happen!

A.D.D. ~ Don’t get me started on the epic level this has reached!

Stupid, Stubborn Weight:

Cat on Scale

Okay, if I’m going to be totally honest, I’ve had to battle my weight for several years now (stupid weight). However, I’ve always known what to do! I’ve also been able to adjust my eating habits and see a difference. This is no longer true. I am fighting harder than I ever have in my life, to not only lose weight, but to stop gaining it too!

So what’s changed? Everything! Everything I’ve learned about working out and being fit, no longer applies to me. What worked before doesn’t work now, and that is backed up by personal experience, as well as research. Now I’m trying to adjust, to forget what used to work, and learn what works now. And it’s frustrating… demoralizing… demotivating. Yes, a  personal trainer would be quite useful right now, but that’s just not in the budget. So I will continue to re-educate myself, push through, and persevere. It’s not about having a skinny body, but I do want to be the healthiest me I can be!

Thin is NOT In:

Eyebrows

Once upon a time, I had beautiful, thick eyebrows, and amazingly long, thick eyelashes. My hair was thick, though fine, and I had a lot of it. Yes, I was blessed.

My eyebrows were full and had a nice, natural arch. Occasional tweezing was all I had to do. My eyelashes were really long and had a lovely natural curl to them. Not only have I never used an eyelash curler, but I actually used to lament that my eyelashes were so long that they would brush on my sunglasses when I blinked (and that was without mascara)! (Yes, I know, I’ll feel no sympathy on this one.)

Oh, how things have changed. My hair isn’t too bad, because while I’ve lost a lot of it, I really did have a lot to begin with, so it doesn’t show too much. My eyebrows are sparse now, no longer thick. And they require a lot of work to look good. My eyelashes? Well, now they’re short and thin, even with mascara!

Feelin’ the Heat:

Hot flashes and night sweats… This pretty much sums up how I feel about that!

Definition of Hot Flash

Yep, that’s pretty much it. Thank God for Peppermint Oil (seriously, a must-have). And yes, I know what the triggers are, but frankly, if I avoid those, is life really worth living? I think not. Well, except for stress and anxiety, which are basically caused by menopause!

Hot Flash Triggers

Oh and, by the way…

Murder Sprees

In Conclusion:

So what’s a girl to do? Well, I guess it boils down to what I tell my daughter all too often ~ Suck it up, Cupcake! To the best of my knowledge, no woman has died from going through it. I’ll continue using my oils and supplements, I will continue to seek out the coolest A/C vents and most powerful fans, I will continue to obsessively write things down, and I will continue plotting murders in my mind. Whatever gets you through, right?