Raising a Future Adult

Parenting Is...Parenting is tough. When we realize that while they are kids, we’re not actually raising kids, we’re raising future adults, it’s downright daunting. Usually, the right thing to do (in parenting and in life), is not the easy thing to do. Children are not usually others-centered, hard workers, responsible, or respectful naturally. These are traits that must be taught. And typically, the teaching process is not easy. They aren’t going to want to do the things that will teach them character, so if we don’t force them to, it’s not going to happen.

Raising future adults means parenting our children in such a way that we are mindful of the adult they will become. If we want our children to be persons of character, morally sound, hard workers, kind and compassionate, and others-centered, then that’s how we need to raise them. We cannot assume they will just magically become that way when they cross the threshold to adulthood.

Proudly Not an Expert

Now, I won’t pretend to have all the answers or solutions, nor do I claim to be an expert at parenting (or anything else for that matter), this is just an observation. It’s something that is at the forefront of my mind, as I go through this parenting journey. And it’s something that’s been validated by an event I witnessed recently.

Several months ago, I went camping with my daughter, and I caught a glimpse of the person she is turning into. And I was incredibly proud of my girl. The morning was spent making crafts, and in the afternoon, they engaged in field play. At the end of the session, another little girl became distraught because she lost the craft necklace she had made earlier. It was to be a gift for her mom. Within moments, there were dozens of people scouring that field in search of this missing craft necklace, made with love, by a little girl, for her mother. Sadly, it was not found.

The search was forsaken after a time, and the little girl was inconsolable. At that moment, I saw my daughter approach this little girl. I was near enough to hear her, and I figured she was going to offer the girl her sympathies, and she did… but she did so much more. She told her how sorry she was that she (the little girl) lost the necklace and that they couldn’t find it. Then she said, “I know you worked hard to make it for your mom and it was a special present.” Taking off her own necklace, she offered it to the little(er) girl, saying, “You can have mine to give to your mom. I know it’s not yours, but I don’t mind.”

I May Not Be Perfect

Wow, talk about a proud Mama! In that brief moment, I witnessed my daughter extend to another hurting person, the virtues of compassion, validation, love, and kindness. It was completely unprompted by me (in the same way that she goes out of her way to thank heroes ~ military, police, and firemen ~  for their service). With tears clouding my eyes I saw her clearly as the person she is becoming… a world changer. Yes, I have worked hard to influence her to be a young lady of character, I have taught her right from wrong and shown her how to think of and care for others. But it’s more than that…

It’s her… it’s who she is. She is called and purposed, as a daughter of the King,  to reflect His light, show His love, and fulfill His calling in her life. In her own innocent and loving way, she tried to live out the saying, “Find a need and fill it, find a hurt and heal it.” She saw a situation that was hurtful to another person and had the confidence in herself, to believe there was something she could do to make it better.

Be Who God Meant You to Be

That’s what a world changer does. They see, and then they do something about it. World changers don’t just pay lip service ~ they walk the talk. They walk in integrity. They offer encouragement, compassion, and kindness freely and without hesitation. They realize it doesn’t cost to be kind, but that kindness offered spreads far and wide. Like a pebble thrown into a lake, it doesn’t just affect the one spot it lands, but rather it ripples out, touching and changing even what is much further away. Kindness matters.

Throw Kindness Around

For Such a Time as This

Dark Times

Tough times and dark days. That’s what we’re living in… the times are tough, the days are dark, and everywhere, evil abounds. Yes, this present age is trying, turbulent, and troubled for sure. I’ve heard people use the term “uncertain” too, but I think that’s wrong… There are many passages in the Bible that foretell what is to come. And those days are now. Just a quick glance at Matthew 24:4-14 confirms that:

 Jesus told them, “Don’t let anyone mislead you, for many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah.’ They will deceive many. And you will hear of wars and threats of wars, but don’t panic. Yes, these things must take place, but the end won’t follow immediately. Nation will go to war against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world. But all this is only the first of the birth pains, with more to come.

Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because you are my followers. And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. And many false prophets will appear and will deceive many people. Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come.”

Recently, as I was hearing of yet another sad, tragic story, I felt the familiar pang of righteous anger rising up in me (yes, it’s okay to be angry about the evil that is running rampant in the world), but it was followed by a Bible verse that surprised me. It was from the book of Esther. 

I began thinking of the story of Esther, and how God used her, an unlikely Jewish orphan girl, raising her up to be a queen, to save His people. Esther was young and beautiful, and must have had a pleasing personality, as she found favor from those around her. But she was also unassuming, a regular girl, seemingly filled with self-doubts and uncertainty. Yet she was obedient to the direction of her uncle and spiritual mentor, and God used her in a mighty way. Despite her doubts, fears, and insecurities.

“Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14).

When I thought about this verse, I realized how true it is today. Consider this: We are here, now, for a reason. God placed us in this challenging, intense, and terror-filled time, specifically because He has a plan and a purpose for us, right now. And He created us with the gifts, talents, and passions that we need to fulfill His purpose in our life.

So what is the purpose God has for us? Simply put, we are to point the way to Jesus to a lost and dying world. We are to be a light shining in the darkness. I believe that in today’s world, the light of God inside us will shine brighter, because the world has grown darker.

Let Your Light Shine

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ~ Matthew 5:15-15

While there are many nice, or easy, ways to shine His light (loving people, being a good friend, visiting shut-ins, working at a food pantry, etc), the time has come to step it up, and move to another level.

Now is the time to speak the truth, to be a witness… We need to be bold with our words, because the time for subtlety and ambiguity has passed. No more just showing the character of Jesus with our Christian friends, but with the world too. This is the information age, and we have the ability to influence others in a way never before in history. Social media has enabled us to expand our circle of influence, to be missionaries even <GASP!>, without leaving our homes. (Of course this must be done in a non-Pharisaical way.)

God Chose the Foolish Things

Today, I think many of us are like Esther… unlikely for being a world changer. But that is precisely what we are, and why God chose us. He doesn’t call the equipped, he equips the called. We too, may be insecure and doubtful, but if we trust God, and are willing, He will embolden us to stand up, stand out, and speak out, proclaiming His goodness, mercy, grace, love, and righteousness. Yes, righteousness. It’s not all about the warm & fuzzy stuff… it’s the hard stuff too. And it’s being willing to proclaim the state of the world because we’ve taken God out of it, it’s not being afraid to call evil what it is…evil! It’s accepting the possibility of being mocked, marginalized, mistreated, or even martyred for doing so.

We don’t have to be polished and eloquent to speak up for God, just willing. We don’t need to have a theology degree, but we better know the Word if we are to speak His Word. We don’t have to look like we just stepped out of a fashion magazine to be a voice in the wilderness. We don’t have to be perfect, or sinless either… in fact, we won’t be. But we do have to be on God’s side, and have him living inside of us.

Yes, the days are certain,  but so is the outcome… God wins. That means we (those who choose to follow Jesus) win too. Yes, we might experience tribulation, torment, ridicule, and even unfathomable evil, but in the end, we win. That is the comfort, that is the hope. That is what we need to share to this lost and dying world. And for that purpose, we have been placed here, for such a time as this.

For Such a Time as This 1

 

We’re Growing Up

Last week was a big week for us… meaning for my daughter and I. She is almost 9 years old, and growing way too fast for me, and way too slowly for herself. Last week though was one to remember. It was the week she left.

Time For Change

All of her life, she has spent most of her time with us. There’s been no daycare, little babysitting (with trusted friends), and a small number of sleepovers (with the same trusted friends). And we homeschool. She did go on a trip with her dad last year (I had to stay home to care for the dogs ~ our pet sitter canceled at the last minute), but that’s just it… she was still with her dad.

This week though, she got to do something she’s never before done ~ she went to Kid’s Camp with our church. It was a wonderful opportunity for her, and of course, she had an amazing time. Truth be told, I knew she would. I signed her up, and I talked her into going. She was a bit reluctant at first, but the excitement quickly grew as she learned more about it. And of course, many of her friends were going.

Summer Camp

When it came time to leave for camp, she did great! Much better than I did. I had such a hard time letting her go. I knew she would love it, I knew she would have fun, and I knew she would have an awesome God experience, but still… it was hard to let her go… and I was a wreck.

But after hugging her about 7,240 times, I sent her off. I knew I could trust the people she was with. And I had a friend who would be keeping a special eye on her for me, who would also be sending me update texts and pictures, for my peace of mind. Still, I cried.

After an eternity 26 hours, she returned to me. She was safe and sound, energized, though exhausted, and most importantly,  she was touched by God. Also, she seemed a little older to me, a little wiser. And she was more connected to friends. I was relieved to have her home, thrilled to hear her stories, and proud that she did so well. (I was even excited to hear about the copious amounts of ice cream she ate ~ even for breakfast!)

Ice Cream Cones

She’s growing up and needing me less. She’s still a little girl, but she is changing into an amazing young lady. She is maturing and growing in her independence, and I marvel at the gift God has given me in entrusting her to me. I know that as much as she is mine, she is His even more. And I know that my greatest achievement will be in raising her to love Jesus and serve Him. And I’m grateful when I see glimpses of that in our everyday life, and when she goes away to camp.

Yesterday, in church, a video was played, showing all the kids and activities going on at Kid’s Camp. Of course, I eagerly looked for her… would I see her in the crowd? Yes, I did. Three times. And all three times that I saw her, I saw her doing the same thing… arms raised, worshiping Him. I felt comforted, proud, touched, and blessed. Seeing that did my Mama heart good. Seeing your child worshiping God is a pretty amazing thing.

Kids in Worship.jpg

What this experience has shown me is this… time moves forward, everything changes, children become more independent, and letting go is hard, though necessary. It’s also shown me that maybe she’s not the only one growing up (and having growing pains)… that maybe I am too.

 

Yes, There Are Hypocrites in Church

I was hanging out with a friend the other day, we were chatting, our kiddos were swimming and playing together, and it was just a fun, warm, sunny, summer day. I said something about the church, as I frequently do, and this time she didn’t just “uh-huh” me. This time she listened. This time she asked questions, engaged, and shared.

Like many people, my friend “believes” in God, but she’s not serving God, she hasn’t turned her life over to him. As far as people go, she’s a good person, even though she’s not a Christian in the true sense of the word.

Believe in God

My friend didn’t grow up going to church, though she went a few times with friends. And that’s not something she’s done as an adult either. But now she has kids. And she admitted she thinks they should have that experience ~ after all, how can they choose for themselves if they aren’t even exposed to it. And it’s supposed to be good for families. But…

She doesn’t believe in “organized religion,” because there are too many hypocrites. She knows too many “church people” who say one thing, but behave completely differently. It’s not about drinking, smoking, tattoos, listening to the wrong kind of music, or any other “thing” that churchy people love to get their panties in a bunch over. It’s more like snobbery, judgment, gossip, lying, cheating, etc.

My response? You’ll love it… well, actually, you’ll probably hate it, but whatever… What I told her is basically this… I’m a Christian, and I read my Bible, and I love Jesus, but as a whole, I pretty much can’t stand Christians. I told her I understood how she felt, and there’s a lot of truth to it. But there’s much more to going to church than that. And we talked a little more, and I think her family will end up visiting our church with us, but I knew that she knew that I heard her. And I didn’t pressure her, push her, or judge her.

Two Different Messages

What I didn’t say to her is this: I believe Christians to be one of the greatest hindrances to Christ. I really do. The way Christians attack each other, gossip (in the name of prayer, of course), pass judgment on even the stupidest of things, lie, sow dissension, and act thoroughly self-righteous, is quite frankly nauseating. Oh, but if there’s a need, they’ll bring a casserole (and make sure everyone knows it), so that makes it all okay. Wrong.

Though our hearts should be pure, open, and loving when we go to church, it’s not always that way. There is often goodness, helpfulness, and a welcoming spirit in a church congregation. But there’s also something darker… more deceptive at play as well. On the downside… there are people who use the church to make fashion statements, and if you don’t look or dress a certain way, then you just don’t belong. Others view the church as a popularity contest ~ it’s like they’re finally getting high school right, only they’re now in their 30’s, 40’s, or 50’s ~ and if you’re not in, well, then you’re out.

People in the church, just like outside of the church, have agendas. Some are jockeying for position, some want power and see church titles as giving them that, some want the spotlight and all they need is to be on stage.

We're All Broken

None of these things are the right reasons for being in church. BUT… None of them are reasons to avoid church either. See, the church is for all of us. And we’re all broken, flawed sinners. Truthfully,  in the church, there are more people who honestly love and serve God with a pure heart, than there are people who are there for their own selfish reasons, swimming in their own sanctimony. We just tend to remember more the ones who hurt us, or who offer a poor representation of who Jesus is.

Yes, there are hypocrites in the church. There are liars, thieves, adulterers, and snobs in the church. There are people filled with pride, arrogance, and judgment too (basically, sanctimonious jerks). But don’t let that keep you from the church. There is much good, love, compassion, support, and friendship within the church as well.

When people know, or believe, we are Christians, but our actions are un-Christlike, we not only turn people away from the church, we also turn them away from Christ. We need to go to church for Jesus. We need to look for those who represent Him and be wary of the ones who don’t. And always make it our mission to be one of the ones that represent Him, not one who doesn’t. Leave all that other stuff, the dark stuff, for Him to sort out. He will.

Atheism

 

What Every Woman Should Know

First off, I didn’t write this list. But I wish I had. Second, I wish every woman in America (heck, in the world) would get this. I mean really get this. Third, I wish I would get this. Always.

10 Facts

10 Facts Every Woman Should Know:

1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over.
2. When someone tells you that you’re beautiful, believe them. They aren’t lying.
3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill a goat.
4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them.
5. You should definitely have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would.
6. Don’t look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself.
7. It’s okay to not love every part of your body….but you should.
8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life. Well, you might be that woman to someone else.
9. You should be a priority. Not an option, the last resort, or a backup plan.
10. You’re a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable.

~ Austin Blood

 

Oh, how I wish I had known these things when I was younger. Looking back, I see how utterly insecure I used to be. It is astonishing how critical I was about myself, how much I compared myself to others… and came up short. I was so freaking critical of myself, and now, I don’t really know why. Other than that I was just young and had next to zero self-esteem.

It happens. The zero self-esteem thing… it happens. To far too many of us, I’m afraid. When you grow up not being built up, but rather, torn down, it’s hard to break that off. It’s hard to see yourself with value if as a child, you weren’t valued. Sometimes, it’s hard to see yourself with value, even if you were valued.

Insecurities

The thing is, society the media puts ridiculously impossible standards on women. Standards that, quite frankly, are a lie. The media photoshop, perfect lighting, and stage makeup to erase flaws and create the illusion of perfection. Perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect eyebrows, perfect body, perfectly thin, perfectly smooth, perfectly bronzed (without fear of skin cancer), perfectly wrinkle-free… and it’s all… perfectly… crap.

Today, I look at pictures of me when I was young, and I see something I wish I could have seen then. I see a young woman who was beautiful, who had a smile that could light up a room, who was thin and fit. I see someone who was funny, witty, and charming. I see someone intelligent and fun, who was vivacious and loved life. I laughed often and often made others laugh. I wish I could have seen that then.

Beauty Opposite Perfection

Now I see that while I wasn’t perfect (and who of us is, really?), I was pretty dang awesome. I truly enjoyed making other people feel good, and I had a kind, caring heart. Unfortunately, I used to be too hard on myself. I used to think of myself as plain, fat (though I was size 8-10) mediocre, and simply less-than. I just never felt pretty enough, smart enough, popular enough… I never felt good enough. What a waste! Those kinds of thoughts are a waste of time, a waste of energy, and a waste of spirit.

Now, with the advantage of age, maturity, and perspective, I see myself much differently. I know I’m not perfect. But I also know that I’m pretty freaking awesome. I have a lot to offer, and well, if someone doesn’t like me, I’m okay with that. I hope that doesn’t seem arrogant, it’s just that I’ve finally grown to love me ~ imperfections and all. It’s how I know that I’m flawesome!

Flawesome 2

More importantly, I know that God loves me, he approves of me, and he designed me the way he wanted me to be. I know that my imperfections, my flaws, and my idiosyncrasies, are what makes me special. They make me, me.  I now know I am a masterpiece, created by the God of the Universe, and he made me unique, the way he wanted me to be. And who am I to argue with that?

To See Myself the Way You Do

To see myself the way he does. Not for how skinny or flawless I am, how put together I am, how popular I am, or how pedigreed I am.

God sees us as beautiful, precious, unique, loved, and passionate. He sees us as daughters of the King. He chose us. He desires us.

Imagine that. The God of all creation, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the Alpha and Omega… He desires us. He pursues us. He values us. And He wants a relationship with us. And that is enough.

Get Out of the Box

Get out of the box. Get Jesus out of the box. Get the church out of the building, which is a box! Yep, I said it. And I mean it. Though I know this won’t score me any points with the religious types. I’m okay with that.

I’m coming out of a dry spell in my spiritual life. Actually, it was dry, dark, and desperate… like Mordor. And I think I was near a spiritual death, for lack of Living Water. (Mind you, I’m not saying it wasn’t available, I just couldn’t see it.) It was a long, painful journey, with the enemy searching to take me out. I had companions at times (some like Sam, others like Gollum), but the journey was mine.

Mordor

Recently I had an epiphany about why it was so bad for me. Since I’ve been saved (17 years now), I’ve always held to the belief that we are saved to serve, not saved to sit. In the first many years, I served. Tirelessly. I served in the church, but I also went outside the church. Yes, there are many positions within the church building that need to be filled, or there wouldn’t actually be a church (think about it… kids ministry, ushers, greeters, sound, custodial, etc). Serving in that capacity is not a bad thing… in fact, it’s necessary.

But there’s more.

Much more.

What struck me is that yes, Jesus spent time in the church, and he never told anyone to not go to church. But he also never said just go to church. What he actually said was, “Go, and make disciples.”

Go and Make Disciples

Go…

Have you ever been wrecked for God? Have you ever been moved to tears or action by something you see? Have you ever felt righteous anger rising up in response to any of the many forms of evil that victimize others… in your neighborhood… in your city… in your country… in the world? If so, THAT is your calling. If not, well… you may want to figure out why.

The Place God Calls You

There are so many opportunities to bring Jesus to the world. I’ve heard things like, “Serving in a soup kitchen isn’t me,” or “I’m not comfortable around the homeless.” Yeah? So what? There are literally thousands of other ways to serve. What do you have a passion for? Who do you connect with? Who do you understand? Who, when being completely honest with yourself, can you look at and say, “There, but by the grace of God, go I?”

So who needs Jesus?

Bikers. Drug addicts. Prisoners. Sick people. Immigrants. The hungry and the homeless. Women fleeing abusive relationships. People who’ve lost a loved one. Orphans. Athletes. Businessmen and women. Teens. Unwed mothers. First responders. Teachers. Freaks. Government workers (can I get an Amen?!). Women working in the sex industry ~ whether by “choice” or through human trafficking (this includes strippers, prostitutes, sex slaves, and the porn industry). And everyone else.

Serve One Another

That’s where I need to be. I have known for quite some time that I was to offer what I could to women enslaved (don’t kid yourself, that’s what it is) in prostitution ~ especially young girls. I am to show Jesus, love, compassion, humility, and non-judgment to those ladies. But I didn’t. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t in a good place. I had other things to do. I… I… I… the point is, I didn’t do what I know I was called to do. And that may not have put me in a dark place, but it certainly allowed me to stay there.

We are to have an inlet AND an outlet. Look at it this way… the Dead Sea and the Sea of Galilee are very near to each other. They are both fed by the Jordan river. But that’s where the similarity ends. The Sea of Galilee is lush, beautiful, vibrant, and full of life, because the water flows in, through, and out. On the other hand, the Dead Sea has no outlet, making it too salty, and too full of minerals for any living thing. There is no life at all in the Dead Sea (hence the name). It’s the same way with us. Where there is no outlet, there is no life!

Sea of Galilee

The Sea of Galilee

Dead Sea

The Dead Sea

Think of it this way… In life, it matters not what we get, but what we give. 

Yes, money is always needed. Yes, it’s good to give your treasure. But it’s equally important to give of your time and talent. A war cannot be won (yes, it really is a battlefield out there), by simply throwing money at it ~ without boots on the ground (or Christians in the field), no war would ever be won.

In Life It Matters What We Give

We need to be willing to get dirty. To be messy. Because that’s what life is. And that’s what true ministry is. Ministry isn’t beautiful buildings, church fashion trends, showy worship services, and a pristine church environment. Real ministry is like real life ~ gritty, messy, and complicated, but oh so fulfilling.

If our purpose upon getting saved was solely to worship Jesus, then we’d be taken to him, promptly thereafter. But we’re not. We’re left here to represent Him. We are to be his church, not a building. We are to be his hands and feet. We are to go. It’s been said that God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. All we need to do is find a need and fill it, find a hurt and heal it. Are you willing?

Be the Church

 

The Warrior Within

Have you ever struggled to fit in? I’m sure if we’re honest, we’d all admit to having that struggle, at least occasionally. But what is it to fit in? And really, why would we want to?

If You Don't Fit In

What Is Normal?

For most of my life, I didn’t feel like I was a normal girl. I realize “normal” is subjective, but there are general girly qualities that are fairly standard. For instance, dressing up, being feminine, and looking pretty, polished and put together, are all typical for normal girls. And yes, I will do that. But only sometimes. I rarely accessorize and only change out my purse when it’s worn out. I can easily go out without worrying about makeup. Overall, I’m pretty low maintenance. And two of my least favorite things (also considered standard for women) are talking on the phone and <gasp> shopping!

The things I do enjoy are not typically considered “girly.” I like war movies more than romance. And boxing more than crafting. For our 10-year anniversary, I was thrilled to receive the gift of my dreams! No, it wasn’t bling, it was steel ~ my very first handgun! I get excited about knives (of the non-kitchen variety). As soon as I get a backboard and proper target, I will be throwing knives as a hobby. And I would love to get a black belt in martial arts (but have bad knees). See, I’m not a “normal” girl.

Being a Warrior

Previously, those things that make me “me,” made me feel like I didn’t measure up. Like I wasn’t the type of girl society said I should be, so there was something wrong with me. Now, however, when I look at the list above, I see a common thread. All of these things that I enjoy so much are not masculine v. feminine. They are merely activities that represent strength, discipline, determination, focus, tenacity, protectiveness and an unwillingness to give up. These are the characteristics of being a warrior. And that is who God created me to be ~ a warrior, a champion for Him and His Kingdom. Discovering this has been life changing for me.

Be Strong n Corageous

My time in this world is not just for me. It’s been said, this life is not about this life.  I can skate through life as a Christian, being saved and just manage to get through, not shaking thing up and not rocking the boat. Or, I can stand up, walk in my purpose, and use the tools (gifts and talents) God has given me to make a difference.

Anytime we work toward the advancement of God’s Kingdom, we encounter resistance and darkness. We encounter the enemy. We have a very real adversary who is against us. He is evil, he is deceitful, and he doesn’t fight fair. Satan doesn’t just want to pick on us a little because he is a bully. Rather he is a liar and a thief, and his purpose is to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10). He wants to destroy us, not because he thinks he can win, but because he knows he’s already lost, and he wants to take as many of God’s people, of God’s chosen ones, with him.

God knows we’re in a battle. And He has given us all the tools we need to win, for He has already won. What tools do we have at our disposal? We have prayer, which is communication ~ no battle can be won without it. We have God’s Word, a sword, a weapon for offense. We have our faith, a shield, a weapon for defense. We have truth, righteousness, peace, and salvation, all tools which allow us to stand strong in the fight, and advance in our purpose, taking ground from the enemy.

The Battle Is Real

So we must fight. All of us. We may grow weary, we may get bloodied, we may even lose some of the battles, but we must never give up. We must always rise up, in Christ, and the strength He has given us, and fight. There may come a time to rest, to refresh, to heal, but we always have to return to the fight. Because the only way Satan can truly win in our lives is if we give up if we allow him to win.

 

And then there is this:

A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle, you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

  Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. ~ Ephesians 6:10-18

Battleground

The Sacredness of the Pinky Promise

Mother n Daughter Swing

I blinked. I must have. I didn’t mean to, but surely that’s what happened. Just yesterday my darling daughter was a baby… it was yesterday, right? And now she’s eight (and a half, she would tell me), which may not seem too drastic, but it is to this Mama’s heart. I know she’s growing up. I know she needs to grow up, that it is all part of God’s plan, but does it have to be so soon?

It seems like every day, she needs me a little less. And while I’m happy that she is growing into a smart, independent, capable, young lady, I am also saddened because I know that each step toward independence takes her a step further from me. I look at this beautiful, sweet girl of mine, and I see the child less and less. It’s as if I’m looking at an image that is dancing in shimmering transformation, there, yet not there; the child fading into the future young lady, who elusively, isn’t quite there yet.

She knows I’m a wreck over this experiencing challenges with this, so she tries to help me. She reassures me that her growing up, and learning to do more on her own is all part of God’s plan. She tells me that she still needs me, that she’ll always need me, just in different ways. And then there’s this:

Pinky Promise

The pinky promise comes straight from the heart and is the most sacred, serious, vow anyone can ever swear to. If broken, the consequences are serious, devastating… life-changing, even. They are not meant to be entered into lightly. THIS is the promise my daughter has made to me… She has made this solemn oath to never leave me, to never move out, and to always need me. She has sworn upon the sanctity of the pinky promise, that when she gets married, her husband and children also have to love, need, obey, and want to live with me.

I must admit, this makes me happy! Perhaps a little too happy. But it gives me comfort when I see yet again, where she doesn’t need me to take care of her. The pinky promise is true, it’s binding. And I choose to trust in it.

So if that doesn’t work out, if she tries to leave me if anything changes, all is not lost. I still have another choice. If the pinky promise doesn’t hold true, I always have the option of… The Tower. The Rapunzel-style tower, that will keep her with me for forever and always. That works too, right?

Rapunzel's Tower

Yes, I joke.. but I know she is growing, and I believe she will make a great life for herself. And yes, I’ll be proud of her, no matter what. Actually, I already am!

Motherhood ~ My Greatest Contribution

Mother n Daughter

This Mom thing’s quite a gig, isn’t it? It seems like I could barely take care of myself, then all of a sudden I’m responsible for the life and well-being of a helpless, vulnerable, tiny human. In the blink of an eye, the tiny human grows into a sweet, funny, demanding tyrant toddler, that I have to teach to not drink the bath water (yep…). Then come the school years… a time where the best day ever, turns into the worst day ever, then back into the best day ever, about seventy-two times a day. It is during this time that I feel the weight of responsibility to guide what is now a small person, into an awesome,  kind, productive, compassionate, educated, responsible member of society adequately functioning adult. No pressure there.

I love motherhood memes. I really do. They’re funny! And why are they funny? The humor they provide comes from the truth that they speak! Here’s one of my favorites:

Keep You Alive

And again, it’s funny because it’s true! I have never been able to keep a plant alive. I’ve tried. Many times. In fact, I’ve come to the realization that my role in the plant world is more like that of a hospice worker ~ I ease the transition into death. BUT… not only have I been able to keep Mini-me alive, but for all intents and purposes, she appears to be thriving! How awesome is that!

And another meme that fits me perfectly is closely related:

All These Moms on Pinterest

So yeah… there’s all these amazing, crafty, chef type moms out there that seem to have it all together, while the rest of us are barely getting through the day. But here’s the thing… they only SEEM like they have it all together, because the truth is, we’re ALL fumbling through, putting our best foot forward, to fake it till we make it. I’ve talked to lots of moms (even the perfect ones), and we’re pretty much in agreement on that.

The thing that gives me comfort, is the knowledge that God chose me, to raise my child. Which means that He must have a plan for us together. It also means He has the ability to redeem anything I may screw up along the way. I know that if I trust in Him, and follow Him, He will reveal His plan and purpose for her life.

We haven’t yet hit the teenage years, and while it’s pretty well known that that time of change and development can be both trying and turbulent, I’m not overly concerned. I am pouring into her now, trusting that I’m laying the foundation for the future. And I am listening to the words of Jesus:

Do Not Worry About Tomorrow

It may very well be that my greatest contribution to the world will be raising a godly daughter, who stands strong for Him. And I’m okay with that.

Life is Messy

Life is Messy 2

Life is… messy. It’s complicated. It’s beautiful and ugly, inspiring and crushing, hopeful and hopeless, all at once. And relationships? Well, they can be complicated too ~ we love, but then in our love, we hurt those we love or are hurt by them. Still, we love. Sometimes the assault is from an external source, and sometimes it comes from within (don’t even get me started on how we tend to be our own worst enemy, rather than our own best friend). The fact is bad things really do happen to good people, just as good things happen to bad people. In fact, the Bible even tells us this:

His sun shines on bad people and on good people. He sends rain on those who are right with God and on those who are not right with God. (Matt. 5:45)

We know these things happen. We know that there will be times in our lives that are filled with laughter, light, love, and great success and joy. And there will also be times of sorrow, loneliness, anger, frustration, and darkness. Most likely, we can’t control anything that happens to us (how can we possibly control the storm?), but we can control how we react to them. We can control how we let them affect us. We can choose to focus on the good, cling to the knowledge that nothing lasts forever and that even in the midst of the storm, He is with us.

Focus on the Good

When we change our focus, we change our life.

When we focus on the good, we aren’t living in denial of the bad, we’re just choosing to see the light in the darkness, to behold the beauty in the storm, to feel refreshment in the rain, and to understand there’s a purpose in the pain.

When we understand that this too shall pass, we can move forward, knowing that we will get through whatever is trying to take us out. Sometimes we’re able to do this on our own, but most of the time, we need help. We need God on our side (knowing and trusting that He will never leave us or forsake us), and we need people on our side too. Our friends and/or families are powerful resources for getting through the tough times. They encourage us, strengthen us, and give us a safe place to rest when we’re weary.

Yes, life can be messy, but if it weren’t, it wouldn’t be colorful, and it wouldn’t be such an exhilarating ride!