Raising a Future Adult

Parenting Is...Parenting is tough. When we realize that while they are kids, we’re not actually raising kids, we’re raising future adults, it’s downright daunting. Usually, the right thing to do (in parenting and in life), is not the easy thing to do. Children are not usually others-centered, hard workers, responsible, or respectful naturally. These are traits that must be taught. And typically, the teaching process is not easy. They aren’t going to want to do the things that will teach them character, so if we don’t force them to, it’s not going to happen.

Raising future adults means parenting our children in such a way that we are mindful of the adult they will become. If we want our children to be persons of character, morally sound, hard workers, kind and compassionate, and others-centered, then that’s how we need to raise them. We cannot assume they will just magically become that way when they cross the threshold to adulthood.

Proudly Not an Expert

Now, I won’t pretend to have all the answers or solutions, nor do I claim to be an expert at parenting (or anything else for that matter), this is just an observation. It’s something that is at the forefront of my mind, as I go through this parenting journey. And it’s something that’s been validated by an event I witnessed recently.

Several months ago, I went camping with my daughter, and I caught a glimpse of the person she is turning into. And I was incredibly proud of my girl. The morning was spent making crafts, and in the afternoon, they engaged in field play. At the end of the session, another little girl became distraught because she lost the craft necklace she had made earlier. It was to be a gift for her mom. Within moments, there were dozens of people scouring that field in search of this missing craft necklace, made with love, by a little girl, for her mother. Sadly, it was not found.

The search was forsaken after a time, and the little girl was inconsolable. At that moment, I saw my daughter approach this little girl. I was near enough to hear her, and I figured she was going to offer the girl her sympathies, and she did… but she did so much more. She told her how sorry she was that she (the little girl) lost the necklace and that they couldn’t find it. Then she said, “I know you worked hard to make it for your mom and it was a special present.” Taking off her own necklace, she offered it to the little(er) girl, saying, “You can have mine to give to your mom. I know it’s not yours, but I don’t mind.”

I May Not Be Perfect

Wow, talk about a proud Mama! In that brief moment, I witnessed my daughter extend to another hurting person, the virtues of compassion, validation, love, and kindness. It was completely unprompted by me (in the same way that she goes out of her way to thank heroes ~ military, police, and firemen ~  for their service). With tears clouding my eyes I saw her clearly as the person she is becoming… a world changer. Yes, I have worked hard to influence her to be a young lady of character, I have taught her right from wrong and shown her how to think of and care for others. But it’s more than that…

It’s her… it’s who she is. She is called and purposed, as a daughter of the King,  to reflect His light, show His love, and fulfill His calling in her life. In her own innocent and loving way, she tried to live out the saying, “Find a need and fill it, find a hurt and heal it.” She saw a situation that was hurtful to another person and had the confidence in herself, to believe there was something she could do to make it better.

Be Who God Meant You to Be

That’s what a world changer does. They see, and then they do something about it. World changers don’t just pay lip service ~ they walk the talk. They walk in integrity. They offer encouragement, compassion, and kindness freely and without hesitation. They realize it doesn’t cost to be kind, but that kindness offered spreads far and wide. Like a pebble thrown into a lake, it doesn’t just affect the one spot it lands, but rather it ripples out, touching and changing even what is much further away. Kindness matters.

Throw Kindness Around

We’re Growing Up

Last week was a big week for us… meaning for my daughter and I. She is almost 9 years old, and growing way too fast for me, and way too slowly for herself. Last week though was one to remember. It was the week she left.

Time For Change

All of her life, she has spent most of her time with us. There’s been no daycare, little babysitting (with trusted friends), and a small number of sleepovers (with the same trusted friends). And we homeschool. She did go on a trip with her dad last year (I had to stay home to care for the dogs ~ our pet sitter canceled at the last minute), but that’s just it… she was still with her dad.

This week though, she got to do something she’s never before done ~ she went to Kid’s Camp with our church. It was a wonderful opportunity for her, and of course, she had an amazing time. Truth be told, I knew she would. I signed her up, and I talked her into going. She was a bit reluctant at first, but the excitement quickly grew as she learned more about it. And of course, many of her friends were going.

Summer Camp

When it came time to leave for camp, she did great! Much better than I did. I had such a hard time letting her go. I knew she would love it, I knew she would have fun, and I knew she would have an awesome God experience, but still… it was hard to let her go… and I was a wreck.

But after hugging her about 7,240 times, I sent her off. I knew I could trust the people she was with. And I had a friend who would be keeping a special eye on her for me, who would also be sending me update texts and pictures, for my peace of mind. Still, I cried.

After an eternity 26 hours, she returned to me. She was safe and sound, energized, though exhausted, and most importantly,  she was touched by God. Also, she seemed a little older to me, a little wiser. And she was more connected to friends. I was relieved to have her home, thrilled to hear her stories, and proud that she did so well. (I was even excited to hear about the copious amounts of ice cream she ate ~ even for breakfast!)

Ice Cream Cones

She’s growing up and needing me less. She’s still a little girl, but she is changing into an amazing young lady. She is maturing and growing in her independence, and I marvel at the gift God has given me in entrusting her to me. I know that as much as she is mine, she is His even more. And I know that my greatest achievement will be in raising her to love Jesus and serve Him. And I’m grateful when I see glimpses of that in our everyday life, and when she goes away to camp.

Yesterday, in church, a video was played, showing all the kids and activities going on at Kid’s Camp. Of course, I eagerly looked for her… would I see her in the crowd? Yes, I did. Three times. And all three times that I saw her, I saw her doing the same thing… arms raised, worshiping Him. I felt comforted, proud, touched, and blessed. Seeing that did my Mama heart good. Seeing your child worshiping God is a pretty amazing thing.

Kids in Worship.jpg

What this experience has shown me is this… time moves forward, everything changes, children become more independent, and letting go is hard, though necessary. It’s also shown me that maybe she’s not the only one growing up (and having growing pains)… that maybe I am too.

 

Motherhood ~ My Greatest Contribution

Mother n Daughter

This Mom thing’s quite a gig, isn’t it? It seems like I could barely take care of myself, then all of a sudden I’m responsible for the life and well-being of a helpless, vulnerable, tiny human. In the blink of an eye, the tiny human grows into a sweet, funny, demanding tyrant toddler, that I have to teach to not drink the bath water (yep…). Then come the school years… a time where the best day ever, turns into the worst day ever, then back into the best day ever, about seventy-two times a day. It is during this time that I feel the weight of responsibility to guide what is now a small person, into an awesome,  kind, productive, compassionate, educated, responsible member of society adequately functioning adult. No pressure there.

I love motherhood memes. I really do. They’re funny! And why are they funny? The humor they provide comes from the truth that they speak! Here’s one of my favorites:

Keep You Alive

And again, it’s funny because it’s true! I have never been able to keep a plant alive. I’ve tried. Many times. In fact, I’ve come to the realization that my role in the plant world is more like that of a hospice worker ~ I ease the transition into death. BUT… not only have I been able to keep Mini-me alive, but for all intents and purposes, she appears to be thriving! How awesome is that!

And another meme that fits me perfectly is closely related:

All These Moms on Pinterest

So yeah… there’s all these amazing, crafty, chef type moms out there that seem to have it all together, while the rest of us are barely getting through the day. But here’s the thing… they only SEEM like they have it all together, because the truth is, we’re ALL fumbling through, putting our best foot forward, to fake it till we make it. I’ve talked to lots of moms (even the perfect ones), and we’re pretty much in agreement on that.

The thing that gives me comfort, is the knowledge that God chose me, to raise my child. Which means that He must have a plan for us together. It also means He has the ability to redeem anything I may screw up along the way. I know that if I trust in Him, and follow Him, He will reveal His plan and purpose for her life.

We haven’t yet hit the teenage years, and while it’s pretty well known that that time of change and development can be both trying and turbulent, I’m not overly concerned. I am pouring into her now, trusting that I’m laying the foundation for the future. And I am listening to the words of Jesus:

Do Not Worry About Tomorrow

It may very well be that my greatest contribution to the world will be raising a godly daughter, who stands strong for Him. And I’m okay with that.